you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
