Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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