ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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