i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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