he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
