How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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