Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
