I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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