redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You don't make any sense
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