he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news, I just burned my penis
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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