the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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