He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Randomize
