just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
