Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
