carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
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