I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
