Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
