I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
