I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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