I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
