the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
