She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
