I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I would ride that face into the sunset
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
