You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
