Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
