I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
