We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
