just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
either way he was missing a nipple.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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