just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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