What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
