if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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