Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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