he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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