im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize