So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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