words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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