why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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