I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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