im about as happy as oj after his trial
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
