people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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