Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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