hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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