addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
