I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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