she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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