My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
