I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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