jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize