Do you still have your period?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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