You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
