That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
