And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
