Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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