I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
