i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize