Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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