covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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