Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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