just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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