i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
