dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
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Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The air was thick with penises
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Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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