32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
