Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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