Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
