Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
