how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
